I noticed the way he was staring at me, a potpourri of desire and confusion on his face. His wife, a doctor at the hospital sat beside him as I put her things in the back seat. I turned and our eyes met briefly before he turned away. Something about him reminded me of Emeka. A certain forlornness was veiled by his boyish charm and pleasant eyes. I could tell something was wrong, and I suspected his wife, my boss was the reason. They drove off and I thought of his handsome face one more time, I giggled as I let a silly thought cross my mind briefly.

The next day at work, I had just finished with a patient in one of the wards upstairs when I looked through the window and noticed a car pull over and I watched Dr Rukky step out of the vehicle. She was smiling. The image from the previous day appeared before me again and a particular longing gripped me. I was fed but not satisfied as I watched him drive out of the hospital premises.

I almost screamed in shock when I saw him seated in the lobby close to the reception later that evening. Was it coincidence or was this heaven taking my innocent yearnings seriously? I noticed he was staring at me and then I realised that I had been standing in that spot for a while, staring at him too. He smiled knowingly and I felt slightly embarrassed, but something about his smile made me smile too, shyly. We talked briefly and I found out his name was Brian. He was waiting for his wife to round off so he could take her home.

He kept dropping and picking his wife from the hospital everyday for two weeks, and in those two weeks we became quite close and enjoyed spending time together, talking and laughing loudly, just like with Emeka. I still missed Emeka, but Brian made memories of him fade like stars of the morning, losing their light in the glorious sun.

The gossips started going round in the hospital so we decided to keep our meetings away from the hospital. I would meet him at a place we had previously agreed to meet and we would be together cherishing the moments between us. We would go see a movie, eat dinner, walk along the sidewalks in each other’s arms, sit in his car and listen to the road show on Cool FM. I knew it was only a matter of time before it would happen considering how close we were getting.

We were in his car that night and the moment silence erupted between us as the music played softly in the background from the car stereo, I knew it was coming. He held my hand, leaned over and pressed his lips against mine. I expected it, but I was shocked still. I kissed him back. Caramel flavoured tasty kiss. I felt his hands move around my body, sending shivers down my spine. I knew it was wrong, but I was ready to yield. Guilty pleasures. He stopped suddenly, just as I had mentally agreed to yield.

He drove me home in silence, not like I was willing to talk either. I felt stupid, confused and slightly hopeful all at once, a terrible state to be in.

He called me three days later asking that we talk about the night we kissed. I didn’t know what to say so I was silent. Then I told him that I had heard Betty telling his wife that we were having an affair. He laughed and asked what I thought he should do. I got upset and ended the call.

A part of me wants to see Brian again. The whole of me knows that it is wrong. I’m concerned about Dr Rukky, I have no idea what she intends to do, considering what Betty told her. I am scared.